Day 120
Today I felt well enough to take the car out for a short trip to the shops to replenish my ever-decreasing supply of alcohol and cigarettes.
I was really asked by Mrs. Snowman to get a couple of things for dinner but quite obviously this was a secondary consideration.
Fortunately, I hadn’t filled myself full of beer prior to driving.
I felt my back had improved sufficiently for me to drive without any major problems and set off to get the booze.
I hadn’t got more than half a mile before I had to make an overtaking maneuver around a bus that had juddered to a halt and declined indicating his intentions until the last possible moment.
A sudden jerk of the steering wheel sent a twang of pain shooting up my back and I momentarily deviated slightly from my intended path. Two seconds later I looked in the rear view mirror to see some pretty blue and red flashing lights above a uniformed gentleman jerking his thumb to towards the side of the road.
I complied with his wishes and stopped the car.
He sauntered to the driver’s window and asked me to turn off the ignition before politely enquiring if I’d been drinking. He also requested that I get out and stand on the other side of the vehicle while he got the inevitable breathalyzer ready.
It quickly became evident that alcohol wasn’t the cause of my driving misdemeanor as I let out little yelps and expletives while trying to stand up straight.
I must report that not only was the police officer exceptionally helpful but also considerably more understanding than the female members of the Snowman household.
He explained that he too had been a sufferer of lower back problems for a number of years and a five-minute conversation then ensued on the various treatments we’d both tried. Even if the officer had any initial intention of hauling me off to the local station, his thoughts were now focused on a fellow sufferer.
For one moment I thought he was reaching into his wallet to produce a ticket for some kind of driving penalty but instead gave me the business card of a local chiropractor that had apparently been “…a bloody marvel”.
I thought it prudent not to give him my opinion that I consider chiropractic to be on a par with faith healing and witchcraft and graciously thanked him for the advice.
I was allowed on my way with a mild warning not to drive until I was fully fit along with his best wishes and a handshake.
What a nice chap.
Nice chaps however were not encountered at the poker tables later in the evening,
As my sponsor is imminently due to throw money in the direction of my account I thought I’d roll the dice once more and enter the largest value tournament at my disposal. However, as my bankroll currently amount to less than two bucks, the best I could do was have a stab at a $1.10 event followed by one for ten cents.
I had a massive chip stack of almost 40,000 in the first one and when the big blind (also the chip leader) pushed all-in when I was holding A-A, I couldn’t call fast enough. Showing K-K, I nearly soiled myself in excitement at the assured double up…until a King hit the turn and I found myself eliminated just outside of the money.
Poker can be a cruel game.
An hour later I suffered more or less the same fate when my pocket 10’s were cracked by 4-4 with trips on the flop.
Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.
Returning briefly to the initial theme of today’s entry, I would like to relay an incident a friend of mine (Richard) told me about when he was on holiday with his wife (Jackie) in Paris a couple of years ago. I can’t vouch for its validity but I thought it worthy of inclusion.
They were driving towards Versailles when a patrol car pulled them over for speeding. I should point out that Jackie is not only beautiful but has the kind of cleavage that would get Larry Flynt jumping from his wheelchair to give it a standing ovation.
It soon became clear after a few seconds that the cop had a far greater interest in the contents of Jackie’s blouse than any legal considerations regarding Richard’s driving.
Apparently the cop turned on the Gallic charm with a French accent that would usually have most women melting at the knees.
Bear in mind that Rich is still in the car while the traffic cop is trying to make a pass at his spouse as if he didn’t exist.
He walked round to the passenger door, rested his elbows against the open window frame and tried to show that he was cool enough to denigrate his uniform.
“So, Mademoiselle have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” he drooled
Before she could respond to the embarrassment, Richard answered the question on her behalf,
“No, but she’s been swung round by the tits a couple of times”
He paid the speeding fine later that afternoon.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.48
I was really asked by Mrs. Snowman to get a couple of things for dinner but quite obviously this was a secondary consideration.
Fortunately, I hadn’t filled myself full of beer prior to driving.
I felt my back had improved sufficiently for me to drive without any major problems and set off to get the booze.
I hadn’t got more than half a mile before I had to make an overtaking maneuver around a bus that had juddered to a halt and declined indicating his intentions until the last possible moment.
A sudden jerk of the steering wheel sent a twang of pain shooting up my back and I momentarily deviated slightly from my intended path. Two seconds later I looked in the rear view mirror to see some pretty blue and red flashing lights above a uniformed gentleman jerking his thumb to towards the side of the road.
I complied with his wishes and stopped the car.
He sauntered to the driver’s window and asked me to turn off the ignition before politely enquiring if I’d been drinking. He also requested that I get out and stand on the other side of the vehicle while he got the inevitable breathalyzer ready.
It quickly became evident that alcohol wasn’t the cause of my driving misdemeanor as I let out little yelps and expletives while trying to stand up straight.
I must report that not only was the police officer exceptionally helpful but also considerably more understanding than the female members of the Snowman household.
He explained that he too had been a sufferer of lower back problems for a number of years and a five-minute conversation then ensued on the various treatments we’d both tried. Even if the officer had any initial intention of hauling me off to the local station, his thoughts were now focused on a fellow sufferer.
For one moment I thought he was reaching into his wallet to produce a ticket for some kind of driving penalty but instead gave me the business card of a local chiropractor that had apparently been “…a bloody marvel”.
I thought it prudent not to give him my opinion that I consider chiropractic to be on a par with faith healing and witchcraft and graciously thanked him for the advice.
I was allowed on my way with a mild warning not to drive until I was fully fit along with his best wishes and a handshake.
What a nice chap.
Nice chaps however were not encountered at the poker tables later in the evening,
As my sponsor is imminently due to throw money in the direction of my account I thought I’d roll the dice once more and enter the largest value tournament at my disposal. However, as my bankroll currently amount to less than two bucks, the best I could do was have a stab at a $1.10 event followed by one for ten cents.
I had a massive chip stack of almost 40,000 in the first one and when the big blind (also the chip leader) pushed all-in when I was holding A-A, I couldn’t call fast enough. Showing K-K, I nearly soiled myself in excitement at the assured double up…until a King hit the turn and I found myself eliminated just outside of the money.
Poker can be a cruel game.
An hour later I suffered more or less the same fate when my pocket 10’s were cracked by 4-4 with trips on the flop.
Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.
Returning briefly to the initial theme of today’s entry, I would like to relay an incident a friend of mine (Richard) told me about when he was on holiday with his wife (Jackie) in Paris a couple of years ago. I can’t vouch for its validity but I thought it worthy of inclusion.
They were driving towards Versailles when a patrol car pulled them over for speeding. I should point out that Jackie is not only beautiful but has the kind of cleavage that would get Larry Flynt jumping from his wheelchair to give it a standing ovation.
It soon became clear after a few seconds that the cop had a far greater interest in the contents of Jackie’s blouse than any legal considerations regarding Richard’s driving.
Apparently the cop turned on the Gallic charm with a French accent that would usually have most women melting at the knees.
Bear in mind that Rich is still in the car while the traffic cop is trying to make a pass at his spouse as if he didn’t exist.
He walked round to the passenger door, rested his elbows against the open window frame and tried to show that he was cool enough to denigrate his uniform.
“So, Mademoiselle have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” he drooled
Before she could respond to the embarrassment, Richard answered the question on her behalf,
“No, but she’s been swung round by the tits a couple of times”
He paid the speeding fine later that afternoon.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.48