Day 141
I’ve calmed down since yesterday.
So much so that I accepted an invitation from a friend (Kevin) I haven’t seen for a while to have lunch at his house.
As Mrs. Snowman had the car for work purposes it meant my pal had to collect me from home.
This was unwise from several angles, not least because it meant that I was not only at the mercy of his timetable but also his outstanding and generous hospitality.
In other words he drinks like an elephant at a water hole and expects everyone else to keep up.
He also has a house full of pets.
We got to his place before midday and were greeted by two very enthusiastic dogs and a cheerful wife (Paula). She gave me hug, said she liked my newly dyed bright blue beard (it was green last time she saw me), told me how nice it was to see me again and led us through to the living room. Well, she tried to.
Both dogs were bouncing up and down like they were on springs.
“Zimmer”, a Terrier and the smaller of the two, did his best to reach my waist and managed a little bark at the apex of each jump even though he only got slightly higher than my shins so was not much of an obstacle. “Samson” on the other hand presented more of a problem.
He is without doubt one of the friendliest animals I’ve ever encountered.
He’s also a fully-grown Rotweiller.
For some reason, both animals have always considered me to be a thing of outstanding interest and refuse to leave me alone on the infrequent occasions I see them.
Kevin took the initiative and tried to fight his way through with the assistance of a rolled-up newspaper but Samson simply grabbed hold of it his mouth and started to eat it.
We finally managed to get past them and found our way to the sofas.
Samson then decided it was time to quieten down and properly renew his acquaintance with me…by sitting on my lap.
He weighs about the same as my wife and stubbornly refused to move no matter how hard I tried to push him off. He simply thrust his head forward and pressed his nose against mine. When I twisted away he rested his chin on my shoulder.
Paula appeared with a couple of beers and handed one to me as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
“Get off him you big bugger or I’ll let Boomer in”
This is one hell of a threat and it immediately had the desired effect. Samson obviously considered discretion to be the better part of valor and sat on my feet instead.
Boomer is their cat, and not only is it completely psychotic but the dogs are petrified of it…with good reason.
It attacks things…and not just its fellow housemates.
I recall an occasion a couple of years ago when it assaulted a lamp stand which then fell over and smashed through a glass coffee table.
Having only just got over the presence of a feline at home I didn’t really want to face another one, particularly as it was the bastard responsible for five stitches in a hand wound and a tetanus jab I received when I first met Kev and Paula.
As it was, Boomer didn’t make an appearance today, which can only be regarded as some kind of blessing.
We chatted for a couple of hours in front of the television while steadily making our way through a case of beer. As one was finished, Paula would magically appear with another one.
By mid afternoon it was obvious neither of us were in any fit state to drive so a telephone call was made to Mrs. Snowman.
Luckily she was in a good mood and looking forward to a girlie conversation with Paula where they could discuss the mental regression of men in relation to alcohol intake.
I decided it would be good time to play some poker.
There’s nothing quite so pitiful as two drunk grown men giggling into a computer screen and trying to play online poker. We played a few low-stakes cash games on my account and managed to lose $35.27 before our respective wives finally decided we should be separated for the continued health of our livers.
With a few drunken embraces and promises that we’d meet up again in the near future, the wife and I finally departed in the early evening.
Possibly as a parting gift, Samson left a big snotty streak down Mrs. Snowman’s skirt when he wiped his nose down her legs, which according to Kev, was a “goodbye kiss”.
Her reaction was to cuddle him, make some cooing noises and pat him lovingly on the head. I just wonder why I didn’t get the same response when I dribbled on my shirt on the way home.
I got a clip round the ear and a lecture on sobriety.
I’ll never understand women.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $50.70
So much so that I accepted an invitation from a friend (Kevin) I haven’t seen for a while to have lunch at his house.
As Mrs. Snowman had the car for work purposes it meant my pal had to collect me from home.
This was unwise from several angles, not least because it meant that I was not only at the mercy of his timetable but also his outstanding and generous hospitality.
In other words he drinks like an elephant at a water hole and expects everyone else to keep up.
He also has a house full of pets.
We got to his place before midday and were greeted by two very enthusiastic dogs and a cheerful wife (Paula). She gave me hug, said she liked my newly dyed bright blue beard (it was green last time she saw me), told me how nice it was to see me again and led us through to the living room. Well, she tried to.
Both dogs were bouncing up and down like they were on springs.
“Zimmer”, a Terrier and the smaller of the two, did his best to reach my waist and managed a little bark at the apex of each jump even though he only got slightly higher than my shins so was not much of an obstacle. “Samson” on the other hand presented more of a problem.
He is without doubt one of the friendliest animals I’ve ever encountered.
He’s also a fully-grown Rotweiller.
For some reason, both animals have always considered me to be a thing of outstanding interest and refuse to leave me alone on the infrequent occasions I see them.
Kevin took the initiative and tried to fight his way through with the assistance of a rolled-up newspaper but Samson simply grabbed hold of it his mouth and started to eat it.
We finally managed to get past them and found our way to the sofas.
Samson then decided it was time to quieten down and properly renew his acquaintance with me…by sitting on my lap.
He weighs about the same as my wife and stubbornly refused to move no matter how hard I tried to push him off. He simply thrust his head forward and pressed his nose against mine. When I twisted away he rested his chin on my shoulder.
Paula appeared with a couple of beers and handed one to me as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
“Get off him you big bugger or I’ll let Boomer in”
This is one hell of a threat and it immediately had the desired effect. Samson obviously considered discretion to be the better part of valor and sat on my feet instead.
Boomer is their cat, and not only is it completely psychotic but the dogs are petrified of it…with good reason.
It attacks things…and not just its fellow housemates.
I recall an occasion a couple of years ago when it assaulted a lamp stand which then fell over and smashed through a glass coffee table.
Having only just got over the presence of a feline at home I didn’t really want to face another one, particularly as it was the bastard responsible for five stitches in a hand wound and a tetanus jab I received when I first met Kev and Paula.
As it was, Boomer didn’t make an appearance today, which can only be regarded as some kind of blessing.
We chatted for a couple of hours in front of the television while steadily making our way through a case of beer. As one was finished, Paula would magically appear with another one.
By mid afternoon it was obvious neither of us were in any fit state to drive so a telephone call was made to Mrs. Snowman.
Luckily she was in a good mood and looking forward to a girlie conversation with Paula where they could discuss the mental regression of men in relation to alcohol intake.
I decided it would be good time to play some poker.
There’s nothing quite so pitiful as two drunk grown men giggling into a computer screen and trying to play online poker. We played a few low-stakes cash games on my account and managed to lose $35.27 before our respective wives finally decided we should be separated for the continued health of our livers.
With a few drunken embraces and promises that we’d meet up again in the near future, the wife and I finally departed in the early evening.
Possibly as a parting gift, Samson left a big snotty streak down Mrs. Snowman’s skirt when he wiped his nose down her legs, which according to Kev, was a “goodbye kiss”.
Her reaction was to cuddle him, make some cooing noises and pat him lovingly on the head. I just wonder why I didn’t get the same response when I dribbled on my shirt on the way home.
I got a clip round the ear and a lecture on sobriety.
I’ll never understand women.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $50.70