Day 149
The toilet has been repaired.
Ok, that may not be important news to you but I can assure you it means a hell of a lot to me. With five adults and an incontinent child in the house, three toilets are an absolute necessity so when one ceases to function the consequences are dire.
However, a plumber was in attendance this morning to repair the offending bog and by the time I got out of bed it was working with fine tuned precision.
I even flushed it a couple of times simply to watch the water swirl around and disappear. Later in the afternoon I sat on the thing with a poker magazine and had a celebratory crap.
Moving very swiftly on, I received a telephone call from the garage informing me that the car was ready for collection following the recent issue with its alarm system. With hindsight, I should have chosen a better instruction than:
“Do whatever it takes to mend it”
A brand new alarm system, immobiliser and central locking system had been installed by a very efficient and very expensive mechanic. The cost of the newly installed parts now exceeds the value of the car by a ratio of about 370:1.
This put me in an unusual position. Although it’s likely I we now have a car that is more or less impossible to steal, the insurance premiums are also higher than the value of the vehicle (without the newly installed bits). I phoned the insurance company in an effort to get the payments reduced and confirmed once and for all that those employed in the financial service industry are completely bonkers.
Apparently I’ve increased the value of the car by having the new stuff installed but an alarm and immobiliser is a condition of insurance. So, if I remove the alarm to save some cash I’m not insured and if I don’t, I’m guaranteed to get ripped off.
Wonderful.
I pointed this out to the moron at the insurance company and received a truly astonishing answer.
It’s not often I’m left speechless but found myself dumbstruck when they replied:
“What if someone tries to steal it for the alarm system?”
Amazingly, there’s good news to report on the poker front.
The first tournament I entered today was a 10 FPP (frequent player points) and even though over 5,000 entrants registered for it I managed to finish in the top eight percent and 50 lovely little cents went flying into my account. Determined to capitalise on my good fortune I entered the next one and, wonder of wonders, I made the money again and 34 cents was added to the balance.
The winning streak has re-commenced.
Probably.
After considering the events of the day I’ve come up with yet another Snowman money making venture. This one is a sure fire winner and, as usual, the idea is simple.
It’s the “Snowman Re-Insurance Insurance Assured Insurance Company”
You buy an insurance policy from another company and send me the documentation. I then charge you a fee for insuring the paperwork is safe (probably in a kitchen drawer) and charge an additional amount to insure the paperwork I’ve just sent is insured by the original insurance.
In other words, you send me load of cash and I provide fuck all in return. Come to think of it, the same as every other insurance operation in the World really, or to give it it’s technical term: bullshit.
Also, today I noticed in my Spam e-mail folder that someone had sent me message with the delightful title: “We can help cleanse your colon today”.
Although it was a tempting offer I didn’t have the courage to open the letter to find out the exact contents, so, if any of you have received a similar communication I’d be extremely grateful if you kept it to yourselves.
Thanks.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.85
Ok, that may not be important news to you but I can assure you it means a hell of a lot to me. With five adults and an incontinent child in the house, three toilets are an absolute necessity so when one ceases to function the consequences are dire.
However, a plumber was in attendance this morning to repair the offending bog and by the time I got out of bed it was working with fine tuned precision.
I even flushed it a couple of times simply to watch the water swirl around and disappear. Later in the afternoon I sat on the thing with a poker magazine and had a celebratory crap.
Moving very swiftly on, I received a telephone call from the garage informing me that the car was ready for collection following the recent issue with its alarm system. With hindsight, I should have chosen a better instruction than:
“Do whatever it takes to mend it”
A brand new alarm system, immobiliser and central locking system had been installed by a very efficient and very expensive mechanic. The cost of the newly installed parts now exceeds the value of the car by a ratio of about 370:1.
This put me in an unusual position. Although it’s likely I we now have a car that is more or less impossible to steal, the insurance premiums are also higher than the value of the vehicle (without the newly installed bits). I phoned the insurance company in an effort to get the payments reduced and confirmed once and for all that those employed in the financial service industry are completely bonkers.
Apparently I’ve increased the value of the car by having the new stuff installed but an alarm and immobiliser is a condition of insurance. So, if I remove the alarm to save some cash I’m not insured and if I don’t, I’m guaranteed to get ripped off.
Wonderful.
I pointed this out to the moron at the insurance company and received a truly astonishing answer.
It’s not often I’m left speechless but found myself dumbstruck when they replied:
“What if someone tries to steal it for the alarm system?”
Amazingly, there’s good news to report on the poker front.
The first tournament I entered today was a 10 FPP (frequent player points) and even though over 5,000 entrants registered for it I managed to finish in the top eight percent and 50 lovely little cents went flying into my account. Determined to capitalise on my good fortune I entered the next one and, wonder of wonders, I made the money again and 34 cents was added to the balance.
The winning streak has re-commenced.
Probably.
After considering the events of the day I’ve come up with yet another Snowman money making venture. This one is a sure fire winner and, as usual, the idea is simple.
It’s the “Snowman Re-Insurance Insurance Assured Insurance Company”
You buy an insurance policy from another company and send me the documentation. I then charge you a fee for insuring the paperwork is safe (probably in a kitchen drawer) and charge an additional amount to insure the paperwork I’ve just sent is insured by the original insurance.
In other words, you send me load of cash and I provide fuck all in return. Come to think of it, the same as every other insurance operation in the World really, or to give it it’s technical term: bullshit.
Also, today I noticed in my Spam e-mail folder that someone had sent me message with the delightful title: “We can help cleanse your colon today”.
Although it was a tempting offer I didn’t have the courage to open the letter to find out the exact contents, so, if any of you have received a similar communication I’d be extremely grateful if you kept it to yourselves.
Thanks.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.85