Day 161
I’ve been watching the Olympics.
We discussed the build up to this a few days ago but now it’s started I find myself gravitating to the television whenever a broadcast starts. Due to the time difference, the early events kick off at around 3.00am which is ideal considering Mrs. Snowman’s snoring efforts and therefore my interrupted sleep patterns.
I must admit to losing a degree of interest when the traditional track and field events start but until that happens there are all sorts of enjoyment possibilities to be gleaned from a host of minor sports. On reflection it’s probably not the sports themselves that grab my interest but more the ways in which I think they could be improved for spectators.
For example, the women’s beach volleyball should have an additional qualification criterion.
I mention this because after studiously watching it for a couple of hours I noticed the majority had extremely shapely legs and very attractive pert bottoms…but appeared to be somewhat lacking in the breast department.
Some of the male javelin throwers have got bigger tits.
This is a shame as not only do they carry out a great deal of jumping up and down but after every successful point they also tend to enthusiastically hug each other. Therefore to make it through to the final, all competitors must possess a minimum cup size. After some research on the Internet, my suggestion would be somewhere between a DD and an E. For the few male readers who are unaware of brazier settings, imagine a woman with a couple of basketballs shoved down her blouse and you’ll get the picture…vividly.
I shall write to the IOC and propose myself as one of the judges for the 2012 games.
I’m even prepared to provide my own tape measure.
My next proposal concerns the archery.
It seems to be a rather civilised and sedate pastime so to liven things up I suggest an amendment to the targets. As opposed to having the object attached to a tripod I think there should be a small brave Chinese person at the end of the arena standing over a plastic bucket and holding the target above their head whilst trying not to piss their pants as the arrows come flying toward them. In the event of a tie the winner would be the archer whose bucket contains the least amount of urine.
I also managed to see some of the cycling. I’m sure there are aficionados of the sport who find it fascinating to watch men with legs like tree trunks belting round and round an oval track but for everyone else it’s not really bristling with excitement.
It might therefore be an idea to build a pedestrian crossing on the finishing line.
Small children and cats could then be herded across at pre-designated times giving the cyclists something else to think about other than the clock. Marks could be gained by avoiding them while the really adventurous competitors would get bonus points for knocking them down.
I got the idea from watching a re-run of “Death Race 2000”.
In between the Olympics I managed to get in a couple of hours of poker.
The first freeroll of the day saw me eliminated just after the first break after finding myself short stacked when I walked in to trip Kings. It may have been that my mind was still on the beach volleyball.
Anyway, the second game was a freeroll qualifier for the London leg of the EPT (European Poker Tour) and you won’t believe this but I won it. Nearly 2000 hopeful individuals started and the top nine went through.
The qualifying game is on the weekend so expect to read a very short report in the next few days of a stunning victory, although probably not by me.
Maybe one day I’ll progress deep into a tournament that actually involves the acquisition of some real cash. There again maybe one day a squadron of pigs will land at JFK International airport.
Moving briefly back to our initial subject, the women’s Judo was also something of an eye-opener.
Two heavily sweating, well-built ladies in very loose clothing grappled with each other on a large mat and frequently ended up with their crotches grinding in each others face.
I have no idea how this event could be enhanced for those watching and to be honest I don’t really care…I just wanted to join in.
In that position I’d just find a damp crease and hope for the best.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.67
We discussed the build up to this a few days ago but now it’s started I find myself gravitating to the television whenever a broadcast starts. Due to the time difference, the early events kick off at around 3.00am which is ideal considering Mrs. Snowman’s snoring efforts and therefore my interrupted sleep patterns.
I must admit to losing a degree of interest when the traditional track and field events start but until that happens there are all sorts of enjoyment possibilities to be gleaned from a host of minor sports. On reflection it’s probably not the sports themselves that grab my interest but more the ways in which I think they could be improved for spectators.
For example, the women’s beach volleyball should have an additional qualification criterion.
I mention this because after studiously watching it for a couple of hours I noticed the majority had extremely shapely legs and very attractive pert bottoms…but appeared to be somewhat lacking in the breast department.
Some of the male javelin throwers have got bigger tits.
This is a shame as not only do they carry out a great deal of jumping up and down but after every successful point they also tend to enthusiastically hug each other. Therefore to make it through to the final, all competitors must possess a minimum cup size. After some research on the Internet, my suggestion would be somewhere between a DD and an E. For the few male readers who are unaware of brazier settings, imagine a woman with a couple of basketballs shoved down her blouse and you’ll get the picture…vividly.
I shall write to the IOC and propose myself as one of the judges for the 2012 games.
I’m even prepared to provide my own tape measure.
My next proposal concerns the archery.
It seems to be a rather civilised and sedate pastime so to liven things up I suggest an amendment to the targets. As opposed to having the object attached to a tripod I think there should be a small brave Chinese person at the end of the arena standing over a plastic bucket and holding the target above their head whilst trying not to piss their pants as the arrows come flying toward them. In the event of a tie the winner would be the archer whose bucket contains the least amount of urine.
I also managed to see some of the cycling. I’m sure there are aficionados of the sport who find it fascinating to watch men with legs like tree trunks belting round and round an oval track but for everyone else it’s not really bristling with excitement.
It might therefore be an idea to build a pedestrian crossing on the finishing line.
Small children and cats could then be herded across at pre-designated times giving the cyclists something else to think about other than the clock. Marks could be gained by avoiding them while the really adventurous competitors would get bonus points for knocking them down.
I got the idea from watching a re-run of “Death Race 2000”.
In between the Olympics I managed to get in a couple of hours of poker.
The first freeroll of the day saw me eliminated just after the first break after finding myself short stacked when I walked in to trip Kings. It may have been that my mind was still on the beach volleyball.
Anyway, the second game was a freeroll qualifier for the London leg of the EPT (European Poker Tour) and you won’t believe this but I won it. Nearly 2000 hopeful individuals started and the top nine went through.
The qualifying game is on the weekend so expect to read a very short report in the next few days of a stunning victory, although probably not by me.
Maybe one day I’ll progress deep into a tournament that actually involves the acquisition of some real cash. There again maybe one day a squadron of pigs will land at JFK International airport.
Moving briefly back to our initial subject, the women’s Judo was also something of an eye-opener.
Two heavily sweating, well-built ladies in very loose clothing grappled with each other on a large mat and frequently ended up with their crotches grinding in each others face.
I have no idea how this event could be enhanced for those watching and to be honest I don’t really care…I just wanted to join in.
In that position I’d just find a damp crease and hope for the best.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0.67