Day 54
A new year is upon us and with it comes the inevitable resolutions that won’t last until the second day of the month.
I’m not sure what promises Mrs. Snowman has made but she was looking very intently at some of the diet advertisement on the television today.
This is something I’ve never been able to understand.
Unless there’s a medical reason to lose weight I can see no point whatsoever for women to go on diets. What’s more, I fail to see how they can be taken in by the commercials that are constantly bombarded at them on the small screen.
I saw one today that confidently announced the user of their product would shed several pounds providing it was used in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle and correct exercise regime.
No shit.
What they failed to point out was that you could eat chunks of boiled armadillo scrotum and lose weight if you take the right exercise and have a decent diet.
It seems there is a multi-million dollar market for something that is not technically required. I have therefore come up with another yet moneymaking scheme.
It’s a branded diet drink that comes with a one-page guide.
I shall organize some fancy packaging and send the client a pack of plastic cups, and the slogan?
“INSTANT WATER !!…just add water”
The accompanying sheet will have a single line printed in the middle of the page. “Take one of these three times a day before eating half the food you normally do and then go out for a one mile jog”
The disclaimer will be “effective when used with a healthy diet and regular exercise”. I think this one could be a winner
Doubtless, the mother-in-law has also made a few resolutions but is not giving any clues as to what they are. I suspect they may involve something to do with teeth sharpening equipment and capes but self-preservation prevents from delving further.
I was also praying that the miniature puke machine (small child) had made a baby commitment to try and hold down at least one meal a day but a second showing of her lunchtime meal told me otherwise.
My own New Year pledge was an obvious one: improve my poker.
I’ve long since given up trying to stop smoking or reduce my alcohol consumption so am aiming for something a little more realistic.
However, for some strange reason I was unable to locate any freerolls on the site I usually frequent there was no way of knowing if my card play had got any better. I shall do some detective work tonight to see if I can find out the reason for their absence.
Oh, while I remember, I have made a specific promise to myself:
I’m going to get the website sorted out.
Assuming of course I can figure out how to use the software. Maybe if I lay off the Southern Comfort for a while it might help me.
I guess I could always pour myself a glass of water instead.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $1.76
I’m not sure what promises Mrs. Snowman has made but she was looking very intently at some of the diet advertisement on the television today.
This is something I’ve never been able to understand.
Unless there’s a medical reason to lose weight I can see no point whatsoever for women to go on diets. What’s more, I fail to see how they can be taken in by the commercials that are constantly bombarded at them on the small screen.
I saw one today that confidently announced the user of their product would shed several pounds providing it was used in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle and correct exercise regime.
No shit.
What they failed to point out was that you could eat chunks of boiled armadillo scrotum and lose weight if you take the right exercise and have a decent diet.
It seems there is a multi-million dollar market for something that is not technically required. I have therefore come up with another yet moneymaking scheme.
It’s a branded diet drink that comes with a one-page guide.
I shall organize some fancy packaging and send the client a pack of plastic cups, and the slogan?
“INSTANT WATER !!…just add water”
The accompanying sheet will have a single line printed in the middle of the page. “Take one of these three times a day before eating half the food you normally do and then go out for a one mile jog”
The disclaimer will be “effective when used with a healthy diet and regular exercise”. I think this one could be a winner
Doubtless, the mother-in-law has also made a few resolutions but is not giving any clues as to what they are. I suspect they may involve something to do with teeth sharpening equipment and capes but self-preservation prevents from delving further.
I was also praying that the miniature puke machine (small child) had made a baby commitment to try and hold down at least one meal a day but a second showing of her lunchtime meal told me otherwise.
My own New Year pledge was an obvious one: improve my poker.
I’ve long since given up trying to stop smoking or reduce my alcohol consumption so am aiming for something a little more realistic.
However, for some strange reason I was unable to locate any freerolls on the site I usually frequent there was no way of knowing if my card play had got any better. I shall do some detective work tonight to see if I can find out the reason for their absence.
Oh, while I remember, I have made a specific promise to myself:
I’m going to get the website sorted out.
Assuming of course I can figure out how to use the software. Maybe if I lay off the Southern Comfort for a while it might help me.
I guess I could always pour myself a glass of water instead.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $1.76