Day 60
You’re not going to believe this but following yesterday’s entry I received an e-mail from a marine biologist who reads this diary. They gave me some additional facts regarding the reproductive habits of a blue whale along with a couple of attached photographs that ensured I’m never going to eat salami for the rest of my life.
Apparently, very little is known about their copulation as very few people have even witnessed it.
I’m not surprised; I don’t think I’d want to get in the way of an eight-foot dong when it’s primed and ready to for action.
However, it was explained to me that a blue whale ejaculates around two hundred gallons of sperm per bang.
Two hundred gallons!
Even though I realize my correspondent is an expert in these matters and I therefore bow to their better knowledge, I have to ask myself the obvious question: how do they know?
Obtaining samples can’t rank amongst the most desired jobs on the market and besides, where would you find some willing to do it? You could hardly advertise in the Situations Vacant column of the New York Times…
”Semen Collector required for large aquatic mammal; must be athletic and quick to avoid potential premature accidents. Wet suit, goggles and crash helmet provided. Equal opportunity employer.”
Which begs another question: how exactly does one obtain whale cum?
Although it’s not an image I want in my head, I can work out how they get it from smaller creatures, but with such animals you’re not dealing with a dick the size of a family car.
And then there’s health insurance to consider.
Should the unfortunate individuals find themselves injured during the course of their duties (not an unreasonable assumption), a claim form would have to be completed. It would never be believed…
“I carefully approached the penis from a northerly direction…”
You can see my point.
You’d either have to be completely insane or the most adventurous pervert on the face of the planet.
Indeed, I’m becoming increasingly suspicious about my correspondents scientific credentials. On closer inspection of the e-mail I’ve noticed a couple of things that makes me think he’s not a legitimate scientist.
I’ve searched Google and I can’t find ‘grandus spurtulta’ anywhere.
Once more, I haven’t had the opportunity to play any poker today but am determined to organize it tomorrow. I miss the constant bickering from Mrs. Snowman that she can’t get on the Internet because I’m trying to stay in a $50 freeroll with less than a thousand chips. So, I’ve made the decision to transfer to another site and have another shot at making a few bucks.
I’ll keep you posted.
Two other things that happened today are worthy of reporting.
Firstly, Surrogate Daughter decided to install a new DVD player to the television in her bedroom. A simple enough task you would think; plug in two leads, press a button on the remote control and sit back to enjoy a movie.
She managed to push the scart lead into the TV with such force that some of the pins broke off and remained stuck inside the socket. I’m taking it to the repair shop in the morning.
The second item is a point of much, much greater concern. Mother-in-law has asked me to continue the decorating. If you’ve read the rest of this diary I don’t need to expand further on this statement but at least this time I know not to repeat some of the mistakes I made on my first attempt.
I hope.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0
Apparently, very little is known about their copulation as very few people have even witnessed it.
I’m not surprised; I don’t think I’d want to get in the way of an eight-foot dong when it’s primed and ready to for action.
However, it was explained to me that a blue whale ejaculates around two hundred gallons of sperm per bang.
Two hundred gallons!
Even though I realize my correspondent is an expert in these matters and I therefore bow to their better knowledge, I have to ask myself the obvious question: how do they know?
Obtaining samples can’t rank amongst the most desired jobs on the market and besides, where would you find some willing to do it? You could hardly advertise in the Situations Vacant column of the New York Times…
”Semen Collector required for large aquatic mammal; must be athletic and quick to avoid potential premature accidents. Wet suit, goggles and crash helmet provided. Equal opportunity employer.”
Which begs another question: how exactly does one obtain whale cum?
Although it’s not an image I want in my head, I can work out how they get it from smaller creatures, but with such animals you’re not dealing with a dick the size of a family car.
And then there’s health insurance to consider.
Should the unfortunate individuals find themselves injured during the course of their duties (not an unreasonable assumption), a claim form would have to be completed. It would never be believed…
“I carefully approached the penis from a northerly direction…”
You can see my point.
You’d either have to be completely insane or the most adventurous pervert on the face of the planet.
Indeed, I’m becoming increasingly suspicious about my correspondents scientific credentials. On closer inspection of the e-mail I’ve noticed a couple of things that makes me think he’s not a legitimate scientist.
I’ve searched Google and I can’t find ‘grandus spurtulta’ anywhere.
Once more, I haven’t had the opportunity to play any poker today but am determined to organize it tomorrow. I miss the constant bickering from Mrs. Snowman that she can’t get on the Internet because I’m trying to stay in a $50 freeroll with less than a thousand chips. So, I’ve made the decision to transfer to another site and have another shot at making a few bucks.
I’ll keep you posted.
Two other things that happened today are worthy of reporting.
Firstly, Surrogate Daughter decided to install a new DVD player to the television in her bedroom. A simple enough task you would think; plug in two leads, press a button on the remote control and sit back to enjoy a movie.
She managed to push the scart lead into the TV with such force that some of the pins broke off and remained stuck inside the socket. I’m taking it to the repair shop in the morning.
The second item is a point of much, much greater concern. Mother-in-law has asked me to continue the decorating. If you’ve read the rest of this diary I don’t need to expand further on this statement but at least this time I know not to repeat some of the mistakes I made on my first attempt.
I hope.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0