Day 81
A few days ago I relayed the story of a party I attended while at college. Although it wasn’t related to a recent happening, it nonetheless drew several positive comments from readers who requested further details. Most of these concerned a brief reference to another party where the coast guard had to be called. As it’s been a fairly quiet day I thought it would be a good time to tell you about it. Not only that but a two-page description of me having a shave or the cat throwing its food around the kitchen probably wouldn’t hold your interest for very long.
So…the party.
It occurred a few months after the one with the high body count and, luckily, in a different police jurisdiction.
About twenty friends and myself were in a bar near Southampton doing our very best to drink the place dry. As the summer evening drew out, we attracted more to our group and when the bar finally closed there were probably about fifty of us swaying towards the door.
At sometime during the evening Colin (our host) decided we should continue drinking at his house. He’d recently bought a very nice place on the waterfront with a garden stretching all the way to the edge of the quay. Although the house wasn’t designed to accommodate such a large amount of people, we all somehow managed to squeeze in.
Very much like the previous gathering, things ran without a hitch until someone suggested we should display our sporting prowess (and I hope my American readers will bear with me) by having a quick game of cricket. It may have been our enthusiasm to get some exercise or a desire to taste the night air but it was probably just the booze kicking in. We found everything we needed except a cricket ball and for a moment it looked like the game would have to be called off until someone came up with the inspired idea to use a frozen pork pie.
Colin decided he should be first to bat and drunkenly managed to put on a full set of pads, gloves and even an arm protector. The rest of us assembled outside and, to a polite round of applause, he strolled through the crowd and took guard in front of a small rhododendron bush that doubled as a set of stumps.
Another party-goer (very much the worse for drink) took the pork pie and prepared himself to start the game. It was unlikely that many runs would be scored, as there were about thirty players on each team.
The bowler ran up, bowled the “ball”, Colin swung his bat…and the pork pie exploded like a hand grenade.
One of the fielding side was stood precariously close to the edge of the harbour and in a mistaken belief that the pork pie was arcing toward him, made a beautiful and balletic dive in order to make the catch.
He fell straight into the quay.
Luckily, the tide was out but unfortunately there was about three feet of mud to break his fall.
He was stuck up to the waist.
Hordes of people ran to the edge and peered over at the unfortunate individual. We were in hysterics until it became clear there was no way he’d be able to get out on his own. As no one was either brave or sober enough to figure a way of retrieving him we bit the bullet and called the police.
To make doubly sure, someone else also made a call to the Coast Guard. Miraculously, by the time the police arrived the party goers had dwindled to the original pub crowd. Luckily the officers saw the funny side and (after cancelling the services of the Coast Guard) organised everyone into a makeshift tug-of-war team, provided a length of rope from the trunk of their car and we hauled him out.
Needless to say, the party came to an abrupt halt.
An abrupt halt was also my experience of today’s freeroll. The guy sat next to me (and I’m not exaggerating) went all-in every hand and he was winning more or less every time. I saw some appalling beats. I sensibly bided my time until I got A-K suited and was busted by Q-3 off. To be honest, by this point it was amusing rather than annoying and I wasn’t in the least bit surprised to find myself eliminated.
There are two freerolls tomorrow so its fingers crossed.
One piece of good news occurred today.
Mother-in-law came home from work early as she is in the process of developing the same strain of flu that I’m rapidly getting over. It would, however, be wrong of me to say that her sunken eyes, dribbling nose and cracked skin are symptomatic of any kind of illness.
She always looks like that.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0
So…the party.
It occurred a few months after the one with the high body count and, luckily, in a different police jurisdiction.
About twenty friends and myself were in a bar near Southampton doing our very best to drink the place dry. As the summer evening drew out, we attracted more to our group and when the bar finally closed there were probably about fifty of us swaying towards the door.
At sometime during the evening Colin (our host) decided we should continue drinking at his house. He’d recently bought a very nice place on the waterfront with a garden stretching all the way to the edge of the quay. Although the house wasn’t designed to accommodate such a large amount of people, we all somehow managed to squeeze in.
Very much like the previous gathering, things ran without a hitch until someone suggested we should display our sporting prowess (and I hope my American readers will bear with me) by having a quick game of cricket. It may have been our enthusiasm to get some exercise or a desire to taste the night air but it was probably just the booze kicking in. We found everything we needed except a cricket ball and for a moment it looked like the game would have to be called off until someone came up with the inspired idea to use a frozen pork pie.
Colin decided he should be first to bat and drunkenly managed to put on a full set of pads, gloves and even an arm protector. The rest of us assembled outside and, to a polite round of applause, he strolled through the crowd and took guard in front of a small rhododendron bush that doubled as a set of stumps.
Another party-goer (very much the worse for drink) took the pork pie and prepared himself to start the game. It was unlikely that many runs would be scored, as there were about thirty players on each team.
The bowler ran up, bowled the “ball”, Colin swung his bat…and the pork pie exploded like a hand grenade.
One of the fielding side was stood precariously close to the edge of the harbour and in a mistaken belief that the pork pie was arcing toward him, made a beautiful and balletic dive in order to make the catch.
He fell straight into the quay.
Luckily, the tide was out but unfortunately there was about three feet of mud to break his fall.
He was stuck up to the waist.
Hordes of people ran to the edge and peered over at the unfortunate individual. We were in hysterics until it became clear there was no way he’d be able to get out on his own. As no one was either brave or sober enough to figure a way of retrieving him we bit the bullet and called the police.
To make doubly sure, someone else also made a call to the Coast Guard. Miraculously, by the time the police arrived the party goers had dwindled to the original pub crowd. Luckily the officers saw the funny side and (after cancelling the services of the Coast Guard) organised everyone into a makeshift tug-of-war team, provided a length of rope from the trunk of their car and we hauled him out.
Needless to say, the party came to an abrupt halt.
An abrupt halt was also my experience of today’s freeroll. The guy sat next to me (and I’m not exaggerating) went all-in every hand and he was winning more or less every time. I saw some appalling beats. I sensibly bided my time until I got A-K suited and was busted by Q-3 off. To be honest, by this point it was amusing rather than annoying and I wasn’t in the least bit surprised to find myself eliminated.
There are two freerolls tomorrow so its fingers crossed.
One piece of good news occurred today.
Mother-in-law came home from work early as she is in the process of developing the same strain of flu that I’m rapidly getting over. It would, however, be wrong of me to say that her sunken eyes, dribbling nose and cracked skin are symptomatic of any kind of illness.
She always looks like that.
Starting bank: $0
Current bank: $0